Hi friends, I hope that you’re well and hopefully your being filled with yummy coffee like I am this morning, lol.
Today I’m talking bridesmaids and specifically this is for Brooke Tuck who asked me for some friendly Facebook advice on bridesmaid during the wedding and that they can do to help out the bride.
The Dress Style
As a wedding filmmaker, I’m often in the bridal suite grabbing various b-roll clips while the ladies are doing hair and makeup and whatnot (not dressing) and one of the things I typically hear many times is about the dress that the bride choose for them and their distaste for it. Sometimes it’s the color or the overall style or both, Hey I get it here, when I was 5 my mom dresses me, well I’m a grown man and I don’t like people telling me what to wear either so I can get why you might not like it.
But hey, this is your friends’ weddings. The dress might be the ugliest thing in the world, or the thrown-up color might make you want to throw up, but my advice, don’t complain about it and just wear it with a smile. After-all, you’re here to help support your friend as they join into a marriage with the person, they love so just put a smile on and pretend to like it. Besides, you won’t be wearing it long term, just half a day at the very most so have fun with it. And afterwards, if you really don’t care for it have a wine-n-burn party with the girls after the fact.
The Bachelorette Party
Whatever you do, please don’t get drunk and wasted and make a fool of yourselves. And for believing that it’s all nightclub, male strippers and dancing the night away, the reality is that most parties (at least in SWVA) are not like that, in fact, many are tasteful. Back in 2013 I did a survey and one of the questions on the form was about the bachelorette party and what ladies did.
From the 373 people that answered the question, roughly 67% said they did a day of event like spending the day visiting a couple of wineries or having a picnic style brunch with their friends. 13% did say they went to some sort of nightlife event, 9% said they didn’t throw a party and the remaining 11% said they took a trip outside the Roanoke Valley for an overnight stay. (Didn’t specify what they did however).
The great thing about having a celebration for their friends is that you get to help plan it out and as a bridesmaid I highly suggest that you help pitch in where you can, maybe it’s helping fork out a bill or just general prep, but offer help and ideas that reflect the brides tastes.
While you might like to party it up, limit yourself to just a couple of adult beverages at the wedding if you do. Remember this is a wedding and not a college party. I’ve seen so many couples over the year get married only to have a bridesmaid (and yes, many groomsman) too get drunk and act a fool of themselves at the reception.
Plain and simple, don’t get wasted, trust me, you don’t want me recording you drunk and putting that into the wedding film. ( I won’t but the couple or their family might buy the raw footage which may have you acting a fool)
On Your Mark- Ge Set-Go!
Being one of a handful of bridesmaids is not a competition so don’t try to over do it with gifts, flattery or kissing-butt. You were chosen from a group of other friends to help celebrate the day with the bride and the groom, so be thankful and enjoy the day.
One thing you can do however, is a nice gift, but don’t make it part of the bridal prep during the wedding day. Instead, give them a gift a day or two beforehand or when they come back after the honeymoon. The bride and groom will be focused on the day and trying to get through all the nervous jitters and stress over the day in making sure it goes perfectly, while thoughtful, your gift will be lost in mental translation so beforehand or after the fact is honestly best. And sure, you can mix it in with the wedding gifts if you wish but doing it in person makes it more memorable and special to the bride and her spouse.
Be Helpful Where Needed
Much like the men, you ladies can helpful to the staff working the wedding as well as to the bride. Many times, bridesmaids that offer help with the bride (or a vendor) help make the day go so much smoother. From the bride standpoint you’re there to help be a line of stress defense if she’s being bombarded with lots of details about the day and setup. Offer to take care of something like reception table linens or help bringing in bags full of make-up hair care products and general stuff for prepping the day.
From a wedding vendor standpoint, just be friendly and offer to move if needed (for a wedding photo or video) and the like.
I will tell you one of the most overlooked things during the summer months is the new couple doing their wedding photos, they’re hot, sweaty and in need of water. More times than none as the videographer, I get them something and they are simply so grateful, after the outdoor ceremony, just go grab two bottles of water before the photos and let the couple have them, offer to hold them during photos and whatnot. It’s honestly one of the best things you can do as a bridesmaid.
Well, there you go Brooke, some helpful tips that I’ve learned over the years as a wedding professional, I hope it goes you good and I hope you can be the very best bridesmaid to your bride!